Waffle House, Highway 49, Florence, MS.
7:10 AM

Firenze! Not quite. Actually, not at all. How the HELL did I get HERE?

Yesterday morning, after a short walk on the beach — the largest man- made beach in the world (Gulfport — Ocean Springs — Mobile?), I drove around the back streets of Biloxi (interesting mix of trailers, shacks and mansions) and then headed north on Highway 49 towards Hattiesburg. I was anticipating getting to Natchez by evening, but that didn't really happen.

By mid morning or so, I was still in shouting distance of Biloxi. Traffic was heavy and there was a lot to look at. But my first extended visit was in McHenry, MS. All down the median they were digging up trees and widening the road. They were burning the brush in big piles. On the side of the road I saw a bunch of Confederate flags. I stopped to snap some shots when the proprietor came out to find out "you ain't with the news or TV people are you?" After assuring him, he let me shoot away. Apparently he'd had some trouble with the media. He told me a lot of things as well: - He's driven a brand new Corvette every year for the past 5 or so years (I guess flags are lucrative!) - At the end of the month he's going to fly the biggest rebel flag ever (he pointed out the flagpole which was certainly the tallest flagpole I'd seen. The event will also feature a surprise concert guest that I was asked to "keep under yer collar" (it rhymes with LIZARD SKINNER). Ron, my host, invited me into the store to see his stuff (mostly a head shop with a lot of rebel flag merchandise, from shot glasses to t-shirts. Across the street was his "museum" where he had some "very special" flags of all sorts. I'll have to return. I promised to send him a photo — he said he had an album of photos people had taken there — including one of David Duke himself, wavin' the rebel flag.

Ron's wife and daughter work at the store, which also has a coffee shop in it, "you know, like Aaamsterdaaam — only it's legal herbs we sell." Finding this place was a good start to the day's adventures, for sure.

"Ron" - McHenry, MS

Then, after many stops to look at the roadside attractions (strange stores and trashed vehicles), I got to Hattiesburg. Reminded me of Petersburg, VA only a bit more life.

Oh, and it's hot. I won't even bother to describe it — there is no way to. It is indescribably hot. And humid. And you can certainly feel both!

I did a little walking around the town, but mostly drove. Then I saw some racing cars at a garage! No sooner had I gotten out of the car, a guy with long wild hair, crazy mirrored sunglasses and bad teeth came out. Over his shoulder I saw an E-type under a tarp and so I asked him about it. Immediately I was a buddy. He started telling me in vivid detail about:

• The cost and effort to build the two cars (neither is too close to running yet)
• How he lives in an RV next to the garage
• How he was from Long Island and then moved to Houston, and then to Hattiesburg
• How he had all these great inventions that he needs R+D funding for (and pointed at some facemasks that appeared to be something between a Power Rangers facemask and something worn in Eyes Wide Shut.

Yikes!

With that, he began paging through countless 3-ring binders and notebooks showing me his designs. Most of them were variations on the facemasks — which attached to helmets. There were also seat designs, car designs and various other safety harnesses. All done in black ballpoint, pressed too hard on the paper. Obsessively labeled.

The most advanced idea was special padding for suits that could keep you cool — a special fluid that cools down with electric current. He showed me his prototypes — basically zip-lock bags with bubble wrap and wet rags inside. A passionate inventor for sure!

"Bruck" - Hattiesburg, MS

He mentioned a racetrack in D'Lo that would be good to see.

Hot Coffee. I was in search of a town called Hot Coffee. Allegedly on Highway 532 (narrow country road with farmland on both sides and a 55mph speed limit — I was passed by everyone on that road).

After miles and miles of nothing I turned back — I'm sure it was just over that next hill. BUT — it seems that the populace of that area is either very modest black people who live in ranch-style trailers or gangstas, driving around in lowered Accords with hip hop BLASTING. Crazy gangstas in the countryside. Weird.

"Cows" - Mt. Olive, MS

Hot Coffee is close to a small town called Mt Olive — which seemed to be stuck in time. Wide open (and empty) main street. Quaint and run down. I'll have to stop there again.

D'Lo is about 40 minutes south of Jackson — and is REAL small. But, there's a dirt racetrack, and last night was the Mississippi State Championships!

Not knowing where I was supposed to go, I stopped at the most prominent landmark in D'Lo — the famous (?) D'Lo Truckstop. I asked the first person I saw there and the next thing I was driving in a convoy of "good ol' boys" on my way to the track — which, BTW, is in the middle of nowhere, down roads that people like me probably get driven down only ONCE in a lifetime — usually bound and gagged and in the trunk!

"Race Fan" - D'Lo, MS

$15 and I was in. What a scene. Lots of people (few hundred at least) and lots of cars (stock cars). I met a guy called "Butch" Cooper from Biloxi — a retired racer (started in '58 or so) and he told me stories about racin' back then. He was missing most of his teeth.

We talked engines and motors and then the racing started. One of the things he told me was that when he was learning to race, he was told by his mentor to use less brake. The lesson was reinforced by the surreptitious removal of the brake pedal from the car one day. He also told me that he'd driven the racecar from Biloxi to Hattiesburg for a race one night 'cause his wife wouldn't give him the keys to "the hauler." — Yee HAW!

There was a spectacular crash during one of the "Mississippi Modifieds" races — but no one was hurt.

Heading back to the highway, I got pretty lost — but asked a guy at a gas station for directions — a very religious man. He was getting out of a minivan with a license plate that said "JESUS" — a lot of custom plates here, but what a find — Arkansas tag "JESUS".

So after finding the highway after the racin' (where I got pelted with dirt from the track during a wild spinout) I stopped at a Super 8 motel in Richland, MS — whose tagline is "Richland, An Excellent choice." Mmm... right. Onward to Jackson...

Random thoughts:

• People in Mississippi are quite friendly and excessively polite.
• They are mostly obese (unhealthily so) and I've seen very few mullets.
• There is no shortage of racists...
  e.g. guest at Super 8 Motel ("never stay somewhere that's run by anyone called Patel.")
• I can see how this cultural stew produced Britney Spears
  e.g. little girl at the race with high heels, leopard print skirt and bag!