Goodman's Sociology for Short Attention-Spans

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This is a list of sociological thinkers that was created in jest by Mike Goodman (with some input from Tom Conroy and me). Mike has a way of summarizing articles, books and even entire theories into extremely succinct soundbites. So, whether you need to know this stuff for qualifying exams or if you want to sound intelligent at a party, this list should set you straight.

Karl Marx	Life's not fair, let's all share!
Emile Durkheim	You get the ankles, I'll get the wrists.
Max Weber	All work and no play...
Georg Simmel	I feel like I am ze Country Mouse in ze Zitty, Ja?
Jurgen Habermas	Why can't we all just get along?
Talcott Parsons	I have a diagram that explains EVERYTHING!
Pierre Bourdieu	Kids, stay in school.
Michel Foucault	Er... donnez-moi le gagball.
Erving Goffman	Where's that #$@%!! waiter?
Jean Baudrillard	Real=fake; life=Disneyland
Robert Merton	Sometimes things happen for bad reasons and sometimes we can't see the reasons right away.
Herbert Blumer	It's all in your mind.
Louis Althusser	It's not in your mind.
C. Levi-Strauss	Myths are cool.
Amitai Etzioni	C'mon people now, smile on your brother, everybody get together, we've got to love one another right now.
Clifford Geertz	Ooh, look, a cock fight! How Shakespearean!
Randall Collins	(sung) Let me entertain you...
Rational Choice Theory	Choose, or lose.
British Cultural Studies	It's not so bad to spend time in front of the telly.

If you have any comments, complaints or additions for the list, just let Mike know.

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DISCLAIMER: We take NO responsibility for the following:

• Failed exams as a result of your referring solely to this list for a study guide.
• Rejected papers as a result of quoting these gems in an attempt to "set up a theoretical framework."
• Boos and hisses at the ASA meeting for using these gems in your presentations.

SHAKE WELL AND KEEP REFRIGERATED